sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
