I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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