Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
