come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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