don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
