Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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