My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
