The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize