Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
