Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
