hotel room ftw
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
