thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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