just come out here and I will go home with you...
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
