You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
