Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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