Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
