Grow some girl-balls and come out already
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
