So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
