my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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