your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
