ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
