mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
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