My brain says no but my pants say off.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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