TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
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