Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
