Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
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