Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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