Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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