you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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