i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
