You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
