dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
