could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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