do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
our cab driver is having phone sex.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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