This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
