I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
