His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
