Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
