Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Never let your siblings swipe right.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize