worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
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i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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