If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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