you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I currently don't understand fingers.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
