do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
