like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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