But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
