had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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