fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
