I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
