Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize