i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
