so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
