i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
