i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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