The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
