just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
