I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
