Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
you had me at cake vodka
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Randomize
