genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
