I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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