Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Naked. naked and bneed help.