How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
39 Memes Anyone Who Cries When They See Their Bank Account Will Relate To
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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