Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
19 Teachers Share the Funniest Items Brought to “Show and Tell”
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
23 Concerns People Have When They’re About To Have Sex With Someone New
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED