Texts From Last Night

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  (619): View more from California

  dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"

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  (619): dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober" http://tfl.nu/5gad
  Replies (61) Good night (3199) Bad night (798)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend

  (1-708): View more from Illinois

  why?

  (708): View more from Illinois

  so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.

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  (708): you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend (1-708): why? (708): so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement. http://tfl.nu/h2nt
  Replies (163) Good night (3587) Bad night (1259)
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  (+07): View more from

  tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?

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  (+07): tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance? http://tfl.nu/7v50
  Replies (34) Good night (5410) Bad night (1085)
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  (530): View more from California

  both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.

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  (530): both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed. http://tfl.nu/da2p
  Replies (13) Good night (5001) Bad night (903)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.

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  (703): like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it. http://tfl.nu/vg3u
  Replies (22) Good night (6301) Bad night (1487)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.

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  (503): His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit. http://tfl.nu/ykdx
  Replies (45) Good night (5540) Bad night (1740)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.

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  (773): Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days. http://tfl.nu/hblx
  Replies (6) Good night (1203) Bad night (585)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike

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  (513): It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike http://tfl.nu/56lf
  Replies (6) Good night (484) Bad night (874)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  It was a book called Gay Safari.

  (443): View more from Maryland

  I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.

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  (410): It was a book called Gay Safari. (443): I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel. http://tfl.nu/jo6k
  Replies (2) Good night (646) Bad night (389)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.

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  (815): It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend. http://tfl.nu/9c86
  Replies (3) Good night (628) Bad night (398)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.

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  (425): There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above. http://tfl.nu/ffte
  Replies (2) Good night (1023) Bad night (346)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.

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  (818): Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great. http://tfl.nu/bj70
  Replies (1) Good night (816) Bad night (372)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.

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  (570): Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid. http://tfl.nu/yx4k
  Replies (1) Good night (873) Bad night (337)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway

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  (602): A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway http://tfl.nu/aupy
  Replies (0) Good night (600) Bad night (323)
• Favorite

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.

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  (952): I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life. http://tfl.nu/qf1x
  Replies (0) Good night (459) Bad night (338)

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