She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
