Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk

  (586): View more from Michigan

  I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite

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  (586): I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk (586): I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite http://tfl.nu/tt9d
  Replies (4) Good night (1357) Bad night (497)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.

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  (920): Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later. http://tfl.nu/9vwo
  Replies (4) Good night (2242) Bad night (663)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.

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  (513): There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer. http://tfl.nu/7obs
  Replies (13) Good night (4142) Bad night (986)
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  (530): View more from California

  He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away

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  (530): He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away http://tfl.nu/6kvy
  Replies (20) Good night (1264) Bad night (5822)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?

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  (540): What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless? http://tfl.nu/wpih
  Replies (24) Good night (1327) Bad night (3994)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.

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  (850): 2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers. http://tfl.nu/i0nm
  Replies (4) Good night (1135) Bad night (2383)
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  (707): View more from California

  Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.

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  (707): Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage. http://tfl.nu/1an1
  Replies (3) Good night (2356) Bad night (1253)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.

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  (616): Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine. http://tfl.nu/pixd
  Replies (6) Good night (1213) Bad night (2317)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.

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  (314): don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again. http://tfl.nu/ygo4
  Replies (19) Good night (955) Bad night (4491)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha

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  (610): We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha http://tfl.nu/f3qb
  Replies (4) Good night (1654) Bad night (630)
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  (289): View more from Ontario

  This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.

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  (289): This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break. http://tfl.nu/v46r
  Replies (4) Good night (910) Bad night (479)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.

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  (705): The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me. http://tfl.nu/d1xs
  Replies (4) Good night (993) Bad night (412)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.

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  (616): Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah. http://tfl.nu/bo14
  Replies (6) Good night (853) Bad night (473)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.

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  (850): I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss. http://tfl.nu/4u28
  Replies (9) Good night (481) Bad night (561)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.

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  (917): You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude. http://tfl.nu/0uba
  Replies (0) Good night (493) Bad night (325)

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