Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
