Texts From Last Night

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  (540): View more from Virginia

  is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?

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  (540): is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO? http://tfl.nu/qgse
  Replies (3) Good night (913) Bad night (514)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?

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  (702): just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked? http://tfl.nu/yp0o
  Replies (25) Good night (646) Bad night (3311)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.

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  (813): Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear. http://tfl.nu/hyjr
  Replies (20) Good night (782) Bad night (6516)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen

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  (864): I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen http://tfl.nu/n18y
  Replies (34) Good night (6930) Bad night (1516)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.

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  (503): She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party. http://tfl.nu/vfln
  Replies (46) Good night (809) Bad night (7191)
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  (310): View more from California

  i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic

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  (310): i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic http://tfl.nu/3sfg
  Replies (5) Good night (3117) Bad night (972)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand

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  (908): i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand http://tfl.nu/4jef
  Replies (17) Good night (5343) Bad night (1051)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"

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  (817): Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside" http://tfl.nu/md9m
  Replies (12) Good night (6548) Bad night (1190)
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  (607): View more from New York

  Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.

  (845): View more from New York

  Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.

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  (607): Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up. (845): Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity. http://tfl.nu/u2xk
  Replies (5) Good night (1968) Bad night (623)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying

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  (+61): Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying http://tfl.nu/56hl
  Replies (8) Good night (1651) Bad night (615)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...

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  (434): Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave... http://tfl.nu/1k20
  Replies (13) Good night (2496) Bad night (892)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos

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  (812): I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos http://tfl.nu/whu2
  Replies (13) Good night (1093) Bad night (730)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.

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  (781): I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks. http://tfl.nu/y7p2
  Replies (0) Good night (517) Bad night (322)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.

  (1-513): View more from Ohio

  Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?

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  (513): So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night. (1-513): Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though? http://tfl.nu/ren0
  Replies (2) Good night (619) Bad night (370)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.

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  (512): I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol. http://tfl.nu/ap1u
  Replies (2) Good night (225) Bad night (491)

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