A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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