it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
50% drunk capacity currently
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
