the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize