I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
