Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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