I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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