You really coming over, don't trick.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
