Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
