so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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