what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
