We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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